Risk It All to Have it All?
September 2016
Every day we make hundreds of decisions. What to wear, what to eat, how to talk to people, but some days we make BIG decisions. We have moments where in making a decisive choice, we change the course of our lives.
Because the biggest decisions we make will often be the scariest, these are the times when we discover if our faith trumps our fear and whether or not we are willing to risk it all to "have it all"...
"If you want to accomplish something, you must first expect it of yourself." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
The Latin roots of the word "decision" are de, which means from and caedere, which means to cut. So in essence the true meaning of the word decision means a whole lot more than we give it credit for - when we are making a decision we are deciding to commit to something in spite of anything that potentially stands to come in the way. In the moment of decision we are deciding to expect something of ourselves and so we are aligning with a desire and cutting ourselves off from anything that does not serve that desire. But... only if we mean it.
Too often, however, we don't make proper decisions and find ourselves, or those we love, spinning in circles rather than moving forward. A decision is required to move forward - always. But too many of us are either afraid of making "the wrong decision" or we simply don't commit to any decisions. "I'd like to start running again." or, "I'd should eat healthier" or even "I want to break up with her" are all ways of saying you've almost made a decision, but the truth is - you haven't, not yet. And it's a very powerful distinction because too often we assume this is enough. We think we will figure it all out before having to make a choice and this is where we are mistaken in our thinking. Talking about our issues with friends is good, but weighing the pros and cons of a situation until you've convinced yourself in three different directions isn't. It ends up being no decision at all which leaves you in limbo, paralyzed and stuck.
It's often referred to as "analysis-paralysis" and it is very real. Having witnessed it and having experienced it myself, I can tell you that it is not where you want to stay for very long. If you cannot make up your mind on something for fear of making the wrong decision, as Tony Robbins says, "you've already made the wrong decision" because any attempt to move forward will be sabotaged. And this is where we often get stuck. We think it is only ourselves we are affecting. We think it is only ourselves that we are stalling but effectively when we won't make a decision we are holding back ourselves, our entire lives and any force in the universe ready, willing and able to help show us the way. It sabotages every effort of yours as well as, every effort the universe will make - and is waiting to make - to help you achieve the desired outcome once you've made a decision.
"Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth---that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
The problem is we think we need to know "how" something will work out before we make a decision, but perhaps we are wrong and this is where we get stuck. Clarity gives us power and that kind of power ignites forces greater than you and me, it opens channels to guidance and information that we cannot possibly tap into until we've made that decision.
Now, obviously I'm talking about decisions more important than what to have for lunch, but if you think back to my post on How the Way You Do One Thing is the Way You Do Everything, you may consider if that doesn't apply to your decision making skills as well. For it is when we are faced with the really BIG decisions in life that we often realize how much we need those skills, which are only gathered by making many, many other decisions - big and small - and, again as Robbins points out, you only get to the point of making good decisions by making a lot of bad ones along the way.. He's right of course. Think about it. When we achieve success, we celebrate and move on to the next goal. But when we "fail" at something or simply have an outcome we did not expect, we generally take a pause to stop and think...to figure out why this was perhaps a "wrong" choice and learn from that "mistake".
What's interesting about Robbins' analyses of decisions is that when you look at it this way, there are of course, no wrong decisions because each and every one gets us more experience and further along the path to the "right" ones. In other words, there are no real "mistakes" in life as we've been programmed to accept them as "failures"; there are simply opportunities to learn.
Making big decisions requires faith - sometimes a GIANT LEAP of faith because we usually can't see how we are going to get there but we've decided that this is something we want. Whether it is a new career, a healthier body or a new relationship... you name it - one thing I know for sure is that the human mind is the most incredible asset we have in creating the life we want. When we put it in motion and set it on a path toward a desire or a calling, all forces within and around us set to co-create with us. And that's why the journey is the best part.. how will it unravel? What signs and guidance will you receive along the way? Who will you meet and how will you grow as a result of this decision? It's so exciting!
I've made good decisions and I've made "bad" decisions. I've never learned as much from the good ones as the "bad" ones which is why I am so grateful that I made them all. Each decision has not only made me better at making them, but has really opened me up to my own intuition and universal guidance in making them. That's powerful stuff my friends. I can't tell you how much the ego wants me to be scared on a daily basis of being self-employed, of being a good mother, friend and future partner in the next great love story of my life. It's easy to let fear run away with our desires leaving us behind to wonder where our lives went, but fear can be a calling too. A calling to step outside the "waffling" and the "maybes" and the "shoulds" and into the "uncomfortable zone" of possibility and promise.
NEW TIMELINE
Because when we make proper decisions we set in motion a cosmic chain of events that goes beyond what we can see, which is why it is so important that we have faith not only in ourselves, but also in life. On a higher level when we make proper decisions we are aligning with our desires and when that happens the universe conspires with you. Therefore, how we make decisions really has a lot to do with how much faith we have in ourselves and in life. Faith to make decisions that may feel like taking a risk.
It probably comes as no surprise that the writing of this comes partially out of the fact that I am making some pretty big decisions myself right now. In fact, I suppose you could say I've already made them and they are BIG. And, the truth is I have no idea how the "how" will work or how any of it will unfold, but I've never felt a calling this strong and loving before...
I feel both excitement and fear coursing through my veins and I have a slight buzzing sensation in my body, which I take as a good sign. In any case, if you're grappling with a big decision, know that I understand where you are coming from and remember this little piece of advice from one of the world's best selling authors, Bronnie Ware who wrote in "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" that the number one regret of the dying is this:
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
After many, many years of working with the sick and dying, Ware inspires her readers to hear the calling of their hearts' true desires; to wake up wand realize that life is a choice and that we can all make better, more conscious choices and decisions that will not only lead to a happier life but much less regret later on when we realize that taking responsibility for our lives is all we were ever meant to really do.
Make decisions that matter. Make choices that scare you. Pay attention to your life and be astonished by it because it is a miracle. And if taking responsibility or making a big decision feels too risky to you, consider the alternative. Consider that the greatest risk is never taking one - the greatest risk on earth is not discovering yourself, your soul and why you're here - isn't it?