Raison d'être ... and then some...
2016 ~ Lately I'm haunted by the idea of purpose. My raison d'être, if you will... Though my life is a very happy one, full of friends, amazing kids and adventures, I'm nagged by a feeling that there is something more I could be here for...
It isn't a new feeling and certainly on a intellectual level I have felt the desire to grow and learn and evolve throughout my life, but the calling seems to run deeper now than it ever has. The hardest part is figuring out what it is trying to say.
The Japanese refer to your purpose in life as your Ikigai - a reason for being that often requires deep and meaningful exploration of self. And yet they acknowledge that your Ikigai could be anything from getting up every day to harvest rice from the fields, look after your children or rule a nation. One's Ikigai does not have to be solving the world's problems and in fact, I would bet that for most of us, it never will be that. But, I can't help wonder if our obsession with setting goals in Western Culture doesn't have something to do with our lack of understanding ourselves on a deeper level.
SETTING GOALS
The thing about a goal is once you achieve it, it's done. So inevitably you have to set another one but what I discovered very early on in my goal setting days was that the true joy of having goals was not in the finale of achievement but rather in the journey along the way... it sounds cliche I know, but it is really true. What if behind those goals is a greater purpose which could explain why we enjoy the process more than the end result for as we are working on achieving those goals we are living out our greater purpose....like a common invisible thread running behind the scenes throughout our lives. But, what if we can't see it unless we journey into the deep and meaningful exploration of self? So we keep setting goals, keep searching, keep busy..
Don't mistake me. This is coming from a girl with an agenda the size of the yellow pages within which I have many goals listed. But goals, to-do lists and plans serve to give us temporary purpose. They help us get organized sometimes, achieve certain tasks and help us to recognize landmarks along the way.. but if we are not present along the path we can miss the whole point of doing it all. I've built several businesses and had interesting work but the mere fact that as soon as I get really good at something or I've reached my goals I start to lose interest tells me that my true purpose, perhaps my Ikigai, is something I haven't found yet.
Right now I guess you could say I have a goal to write this blog.. but the purpose for doing this is to find presence in every day, to get to know myself better and to understand some bigger life questions about who I am and why I am here. It could very well be that my raison d'être turns out to be simply to do this but I know I can't figure it out or find it without presence in what I am doing. Writing makes me present in everything I do.
IKIGAI ~ What it brings meaning to your life?
Ikigai literally translates into "life-worth" and according to the sentiment it can take any form that brings you happiness and fulfillment, such as kids, work or service. Having an Ikigai is important for the human spirit. We need things to connect with or else we go a little crazy. A reason to get up in the morning, whatever that looks like to you, is fundamental to feeling happy and fulfilled. And maybe it doesn't really matter what that is as long as we are present in it.
Charles Dickens once wrote that "a very little key can open a very heavy door". So when the idea of figuring out your life's meaning feels like an enormous, heavy burden, remember that even big doors only require little keys. You can find the way to your heart, your raison d'être with small moments of silence, a willingness to listen to the whispers and the intuitions and the faith that we have one.
Happiness and fulfillment are not as elusive as sitcom television would like us to believe. Every single one of has a purpose and only you get to decide what that is for you. Intuition guides us. Relationships teach us. Goals can motivate us. Purpose anchors us by aligning us with our values and ultimately our higher selves.
IKIGAI: A Japanese concept meaning "a reason for being". Everything in nature inherently possesses an innate Ikigai or else it would not exist. Humans are no different.
Below is a mind mapping process for helping one discover their Ikigai. If you're interested in exploring it further, grab and journal and start following the process. You might be surprised by what you discover!
